Idiot Sightings

Steve Harding <mgbgt1@...>

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car,
we were told the keys had been locked in it.  We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock
the driver side door.  As I watched from the passenger side,
I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that
it was unlocked.  'Hey,' I announced to
the technician,  'it's open!'  His reply: 'I know. 
I already got that  side.' 
This  was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that
one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large'
enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute,
and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time,
a 1/2 horsepower.  He shook his head and said, 'Lady,
you need a  1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's  not.' Four is larger than two.'  
                                              We  haven't used Sears repair since.

My  daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and
I gave the clerk a $5 bill.  Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'You  gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.  She sighed and went  to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me  back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of  thing.'  The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in  change.  
Do  not confuse the clerks at McD's. 

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local  township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't  think this is a good place for  them to be crossing anymore.' 
From Kingman , KS

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell  
and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind 
the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' 
He said he was sorry, 
but they only had iceburg lettuce.
 -- >From Kansas City    

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee  asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To  which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled  knowingly and nodded,
  'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham ,  Ala.

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.  I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light  is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She's a probation officer in Wichita , KS   


At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the  company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We  should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at  Texas Instruments.


I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and  for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. 
A deputy with the Dallas   County Sheriff 's office, no  less.

How would you pronounce this child's name?  

 Leah??                NO 
 Lee - A??            NOPE 
 Lay - a??             NO 
 Lei??                   Guess Again. 
This child attends a school in  Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. 
It's pronounced "Ledasha", When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said,
"the dash don't be silent."  
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash. 
If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.

They walk among  us .... and they VOTE and REPRODUCE

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